The recipe for the best mussels I have ever eaten.

First, go to the Oregon coast and find some rock formations located in tidal pools (but not Haystack Rock).

At low tide, pry mussels off rocks. Pick ones that aren't too big and that don't have too many barnacles on them. If anyone tells you that it's illegal to harvest crustaceans in Oregon, point to Lisette because she's the one with the license.

Store mussels in ocean water until you clean and debeard them. Steam mussels with white wine, garlic and whatever herbs you have on hand. Eat one, wait fifteen minutes, then eat another and wait fifteen minutes. If your tongue doesn't start tingling, then your mussels probably weren't contaminated with the saxitoxin variety of red tide. Of course, if you eat ceviche with a lot of jalapeño peppers at the same time, it may be difficult to differentiate whether your tongue is tingling from the jalapeño peppers or red tide.

(We picked so many mussels that even with six adults eating them (two of whom pretty much ate nothing but mussels) we still couldn't finish them all. And we didn't remember to check for red tide until we were halfway through the first giant pot of mussels, but seeing as how everyone is still breathing, I think that we're safe.)